Thursday, February 23, 2006

My cellphone triggered an sms alert 10 minutes ago.
 'Belgium heng kok just passed away. I'm short of one bro in law.' -dad

I didn't know what to reply and yet I know I had to. So I called my mummy and told her the saddening news. And for once in our daily conversation, there was silence.
 'Tell dad not to be sad. Just call apon the Lord. He is our comforter.'

So I text my dad what my mum told me to.
 'Daddy pls don't be sad. Call apon the Lord. He is our comforter.'

Minutes have past and no reply. Tears started to trickle down my face knowing my dad's sorrow. Worst thing is, I don't know how to be a good daughter. I just left my dad for 8 years, my 2 cute brothers for 8 years and now all I can say is.. 'Daddy pls don't be sad. Call apon the Lord. He is our comforter.'

I'm not only a bad daughter but a bad sister.
My little brother called yesterday.
 'Jie, when are you coming to stay? You said you'll stay during the holidays and now its already the holidays.'
 'Sorry Mark. This week I really can't. Its my study break and I've alot of projects to hand up next week. I promise to go over for your birthday party next week ok?'
 'But jie, you said you can stay over. I want you to stay over for at least a year. Its been 8 years since you left us you know?'

I've been such a bad sister, this I can't deny. Even the small ones in the family know how many years since I've left them. And I don't know how to reply them. I can't say I can't stay over for good, that I've already left them for good. It hurts so much cuz I love them so much. My dad, my 2 little brothers, you are my life. And I know I can't say much cuz it'll only cause more pain..

If only I know what to reply.

Friday, February 17, 2006


the ECLECTICJUNK's and SHINOVA's


Today is our 10 months and 7 days being together. Almost a year now and I'm really glad we made it this far. Those breakups and madeups were what makes our relationship stronger today.

Girls, treasure your boys. They are magic.

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RST: Always book dinners in advance on V'days.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

I've been through the pains and pleasures of piercing more than a dozen times..
Thick needles, corks, calipers, pliers.
The etceteras & etceteras..
I used to freak out at the thought of things pierced into my skin.
But it wasn't till last week when I got my navel pierced again that I realised what I have done to my body.
I didn't feel the pain anymore.
I don't freak out anymore.
I feel like going through the process again and again.
Its like a ride at the theme park.
You just want to go through it again and again.
Now I'm contemplating to get my tragus pierced.

Looking into my bathroom mirror,
I feel like a self-manipulated piece of crap.