hurt.

I tried not to be what I don't wish to be but it gets worst everytime I try.
I made a commitment to shut myself off everything that hurts but they hurt more as time goes by.
I detached myself from every human I know you would feel insecure of but they keep coming back to me.
I hugged you each time I see you, tighter than before, afraid that my instable feelings would let you free.
I wished she doesn't exist in your heart but she has always been so near.
The gem whom I see almost everyday, never knowing you once held her so closely to your heart ever so dear. (i trust you.)

And I realised who I am.
The mistakes I commit so religiously.
My frustrations as what you see as childish tantrums.
Am I not human enough as not be able to have stress?
Can I ever cry my heart out to you at times like these?
I grow weaker by the hour when we are in this state.
I cannot bring myself to face you when you think of me that way.

... but I can be a beauty if your words never let me go astray.